The Bangalore Mutation

1. You develop a false sense of intellectual superiority to peers from other places..umm..aa..we work at Bang-a-Lore(bang a what).
2. You start cribbing when you realise that your hometown/village does not have the likes of Dominos/KFC/Chillies. Not even Ronald McDonald!!These places are probably under Maoist control!
3. Start whining that the mundane and nonchalant restaurants(oops "hotels") there are bereft of the royalty called "home delivery".
4. Take the phone and abuse the Internet guys in Bang-a-lored Inglis that their connection sucks."You know, we have 4-16 Mbps connections in B'lore.Go and replace your scrappy medieval age stuff"..um..aa...(sign of bangalorean royalty).
5. Exclaim silently :"Uncivilized beggaerz(Jayan style)!!", when your attention is called upon by someone with a "ssssh/aye" instead of namma "Axzcuse meee".
6. Be clean shaven and flaunt that retarded grin at all times.
7. Shudder at the cruelty of some states' liquor laws. Keralites have to queque up(yes,stand in line!!)at BEVCO to get some over priced God knows what s@#t drink."If they don't have bars, ask them to go to pubs"(Queen Marie Antoinette style).
8. Jump signals, honk as much as you can, esp near hospitals/schools and try to "fill up the gaps" at all places, left right left...
9. Wonder why the shanty grocery store guy at some non descript village can't understand cards!

All this when a a couple or more years ago:
1. You would swear eternal royalty to the Rs 12/- meal at Pappachan's.
2. When a recharge of 100 bucks would last for a couple of months(now 333 lasts for approx 3.1415926 days) .
3. 9k was not seen as a cocktail treat but a semester's tuition fees.
4. You used to call strangers as "ssh/hello/oye".
5. Bike stunts were seen on TV with the warning: "Please do not try this at home. The following acts have been performed by professionals under trained conditions".
6. Having a pot biriyani at Mezban's in Calicut was wow.